Selma

In keeping with the spirit of honesty, I am going to say that I knew pretty much nothing about the content of the movie Selma before seeing it. Therefore, it is very near impossible for me to comment on how accurate anything may or may not have been, if it appropriately captured the feel of the moment, or if it did justice to any of the parties involved.

As a side note, what kind of AP US History class did I take that did not teach anything about the Civil Rights movement? Answer: one that taught to a test that did not include material after World War II. Score 0 for the Team Well-Rounded Education. But that wasn't the point I wanted to talk about today...

What I really loved about the movie was how it drew you in, and made me fall in love with the characters. I loved Dr King all the more because he was a conflicted man. He wasn't perfect and he didn't always have a clear view of the best way forward, and he continued to struggle on anyways. He got tired and stressed and needed to take breaks to be home with his family.

I found the scene of him sitting at the dinner table with his family incredibly poignant. Its easy to start viewing anyone who has their own national holiday as a almost god-like. Its easy to say that of course he did this, he was meant to. Of course he did that, no one else would have. Of course he had insight at all the right moments, that's just who he was. But he was a person like all the rest of us first. And to properly appreciate how much he gave of himself, you also have to think about everything he (and his family) gave up. And that's why I loved the inclusion of scenes like the family dinner.

I also appreciated they tried to capture the wide range of the white response to this- from killing to being killed. Particularly I loved the housewife who left her husband and went down south for the simple reason of it was the right thing to do. For her to do something so incredibly out of her usual life was a beautiful act of kindness and compassion. She had made no vows or oaths to dedicate her life to such work, but was able to respond to her fellow countrymen and act.

I struggle with whether to call the white people who marched heros. Yes, they faced danger and took a risk that required bravery, and yes they are all amazing people in my eyes. But on the other hand, they were doing what every decent person in the country should have been doing. It was simply the right thing to do, and I don't know if in life you should always get a medal for simply not being neglectful of the needs of your neighbors.

And now I must apologize because I meant this entry to be about the amazing people of behind Selma, and instead I've spent as much time musing about the white people than the black people. Talk about unfair coverage. I won't edit this out- but reflect on my own imbalances in life and I'll adjust going forward. (This is after all, part of my own process towards improving my self-awareness).

I think the obvious question leaving the movie is, If Dr King were alive today would he look around and be satisfied with the progress that has been made? I feel like that is a pretty obvious no. Its not good enough. My facebook feed alone is a thermometer of that- and my friends regularly post articles that reflect the frustration of how black issues are side-stepped both in this country and world-wide.

I think this movie should be a fierce reminder of the importance of allies. It makes me remind myself to go ahead and re-post that article about how black families were disproportionally hit by the housing bubble. About the fears that Bryant wasn't handed the ball for the game-winning touchdown for the Seahawks because the powers that be wanted a white hero for the game. About how black youth bear over half the burden of HIV.

I do it all the time- I see these articles but I don't re-post them. I don't go to the rallies or marches. I haven't even been to the African-American Heritage Museum. There is a knee-jerk reaction to say "but they'll wonder why I'm doing so because I'm white." But really the better question should probably be, why aren't more white people doing the same?

Professional Football entry 1

Lets call it entry 1 because lets be real, there will likely be more. I keep going back and forth on this one and still struggle with how to feel about the NFL.

My biggest problem is that why why WHY do all these fans (most of whom are parents) willingly and financially support an organization that provides such truly terrible role models for out kids? I mean, your ticket/paraphenalia/whatever purchase literally funds their salary. In most cases these are guys who love football- but some of them are abusers, dog fighters, drunk drivers, and sometimes worse. And people somehow continue to support the NFL playing these people. But all this is pretty obvious.

There's a lot of research coming about about the long term health risks that football players face. Multiple concussions leading to loss of IQ points, risk of depression, and higher incidence of suicide are some awful consequences to pay for your profession.

But these players love football! Its their passion! They are all adults, no one is coercing them, and they can weigh the risks and benefits for themselves. If they want to bash their head in week after week to earn their paycheck- that's just the American way. And this isn't flip- I do believe you have the right to earn money in a way that others may find unseemly or distasteful. Obviously those people are a minority when it comes to football, but it is a career that people have a right to choose.

But are young men truly choosing this for a career? I am not naive to what really happens to these players in college. My step-dad was one of them at Indiana University back in its hay-day. No one cared if he went to classes, much less picked classes that could encourage an education. No kidding- he actually took basket weaving. Maybe more than once. People wrote his papers. Teacher's fed them answers the day before to make sure they were prepped to pass the tests. They pulled some truly appalling pranks on campus that they don't seem to have ever gotten into any real trouble for. I'm sure if I went to a school with them, I would have hated them. And while this is annoying to other students, its really a disservice to these men. Lets not mince word- they are nothing more than profit makers for the school. As soon as they can't play football and sell tickets they loose all their academic support (having never learned the skills to make it on their own) and all financial assistance and are basically dumped on the curb and left to fend for themselves.

So all that sounds pretty bad. But lets take a step back to high school. Professional sports is a way to financial success and security that a lot of young black men might not have had otherwise. Black households are over 10 times less wealthy on average than whites. Incarceration rates are soaring while high school graduation is plummeting. In Baltimore there are hundreds of young men who don't expect to live past their 20s because the violence and drugs in their neighborhood are so bad. Escaping this for college, even if you're being used, might not be such a bad alternative.

So I think about what I would do if I was facing these two options for my son. I can try to encourage him to stay in school, stay away from drugs and gangs and violence, and hope that despite having hardly any role models he will choose to work hard over quick cash, to stay in and study rather than hanging with his friends, and decide to be patient rather than getting a quick reward. And know that every day this puts him at the risk of falling off this path. Or I can encourage him to play sports. Maybe he'll be good enough to get a scholarship. Maybe he'll love sports enough to make him choose than over life on the streets. What's a few concussions when the alternative is being worried he might be shot and killed?

So what I am supposed to do as a potential consumer. I can go ahead and enjoy Sunday afternoon football and go to games and have a beer. I can say these are unacceptable health risks we are inflicting upon young men for our own selfish pleasure. Or I can say, hey, at least this sport is giving them a chance. A chance to finish high school, get a college degree, and maybe even more. In a life with very little to be optimistic about, some of these young men can have hope for a better future than the ones surrounding him.

I don't know the answer to any of my own questions. It seems like a terrible decision. It makes me hesitate to advise parents against football. It makes me want to encourage parents to never let their child near a football. Either way, it feel like once again the young black men of our country are far too often in a position where there are no good plays for them.

Introduction

So let me introduce a few important things to understand where I'm coming from. I believe that putting things into context matters, and this will be the context from which I'm coming. I was born and raised in rural Ohio. I went to Oberlin College just outside Cleveland. To say Oberlin was a liberal arts school is a bit of an understatement. You had to really try to go a week without having a discussion about gender politics, race relations, the sexuality spectrum, transgender awareness, or the intersection of any/all of the above.

I lived in Seattle for a year and then moved back across the country for medical school in Rochester NY. I met the love of my life, took a year out to live and work in Peru, and chose to go into pediatrics. For over a year, the student organization I led and myself continued to advocate for increased LGBTQ health teaching in the curriculum.

Now as a pediatric resident, I am passionate about our nation's children, and really all children in this world. I firmly believe they are the future. I firmly believe that since we brought them into this world without their consent, we owe them our best effort to give them every opportunity to have the happiest, safest, healthiest life where every child has the opportunity to reach their maximum potential.

Living in Baltimore is a whole new experience for me. Ohio, Seattle, and Rochester were all very white. And while at Oberlin we might have talked about race relations, that is very different than living in a city that is over 50% black. Suddenly the books I read, the news stories I hear on the radio, and the reports the AAP put out have a new significance to me. It is causing me to think deeper about many issues, that while always important, have never been in the forefront of my mind.

I'll take this moment to say that my honest goal is to be as unfiltered as possible in this blog. I make no claims that I am perfect and that I haven't thought and assumed things that were hurtful, racist, or just plain ridiculous. What this is is my honest effort to describe and document the very real process of trying to be the most conscientious version of myself possible. If I offend, please feel free to stop reading. If I say something you disagree with or that makes you roll your eyes, please feel free to contribute thoughtfully and productively. I appreciate your thoughts, and if put politely, I am very open to new ideas. Thanks in advance for not turning this to a smearing, condemning, or angry place.